


Inner Reflections

by mythborne



Series: Reflections.... [2]
Category: Twilight (Movies), Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: F/M, Friendship, basically me just musing over an AU, bella reflecting back on her life over the last fifty years
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-09
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:47:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26362135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mythborne/pseuds/mythborne
Summary: They say that everyone has a moment in their life that changes everything they thought they knew, it could be something small like a sentence or a decision. Or it could be something so big that truly turns your life upside down and leaves you scrambling to correct every small shred of sanity you believed you had. Bella Swan knew this better than most, because fifty years ago on the day she turned eighteen - fate decided to throw her for a loophole. And her life changed far faster than she believed it ever truly could.
Relationships: Bella Swan / Original Female Character ( friendship), Demetri (Twilight)/Original Female Character(s), Edward cullen / Bella Swan ( mentioned ), Jasper Hale/Bella Swan
Series: Reflections.... [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1936936
Comments: 4
Kudos: 49
Collections: Twilight - We Love Jasper





	Inner Reflections

**Author's Note:**

> **_Story Info_**  
>  **Title** : Internal Reflection.  
>  **Word Count** : 7000+  
>  **Warnings** : Language, angst, mentions of violence, complete and utter ignorance of canon.  
>  **Author's Note** : The whole basis of this does not follow canon - minus the paper cut incident so don’t shout at me - anyway there is more information at the bottom so be sure to check it out.

**\- over 50 years after Bella’s 18th birthday -**

**\- Bella -**

They say that everyone has a moment in their life that changes everything they thought they knew, it could be something small like a sentence or a decision. Or it could be something so big that truly turns your life upside down and leaves you scrambling to correct every small shred of sanity you believed you had. Bella Swan knew this better than most, because fifty years ago on the day she turned eighteen - fate decided to throw her for a loophole. And her life changed far faster than she believed it ever truly could.

She had been a naive teenager, looking back now Bella could say that with concrete certainty. She’d allowed herself to be swallowed whole by an infatuation that almost killed her. Edward Cullen. Someone who at the time had truly emphasised perfection as far as Bella was concerned. And in her naivety she allowed herself to be dragged into his world of supernatural. Allowed herself to believe that an immortal vampire would love someone as plain as her.

A part of her wishes she could go back to that fateful day in the cafeteria when her eyes first landed on the Cullen’s and tell herself to look away and not give them the time of day. Maybe then she’d have a better relationship with Charlie, maybe she wouldn’t have been hunted by a deranged tracker that was dead set on making her a pawn in his game. But more importantly, she wouldn’t have died on the same day she turned eighteen years old.

_ Happy birthday to her. _

The day had already started in a way she didn’t want, first with a dream that made her question her relationship. If she truly wanted to become eternal or live with the promise of growing old and having a life. And it had been topped by an energetic Alice informing her of a birthday party she really didn’t want to have. But of course, the vampires had taken her denial and ignored it as though her opinions hadn’t meant a thing. Something that now she could see they’d done often.

The birthday party was another notch in a long-standing list of things Bella didn’t want but the vampires forced on her. As though she was some specimen they were watching react to different environments. It unsettled her now just how much power she’d given them, how much she allowed them to control her. But as she stated, back then she’d been naive and in love. But all of that came crashing down at the party.

An innocuous paper cut had viciously pulled the veil from in front of her eyes and allowed her to see the shadows that had been lingering but she’d been too blind to see. To an outsider, Bella knew her birthday party would have looked totally different to how it was for her. At least at first.

With how Jasper reacted for sure.

To an outsider, it was as though the weakest of the family was going to attack to get a taste of the blood. But Bella could see in his eyes, they weren’t locked on Bella or her bleeding finger, instead, those hellfire fueled pits of onyx were locked steadily on Edward. His whole face showed that if Jasper got his hands on Edward, it wouldn’t end well for her boyfriend.

Bella, of course, had been confused, up until she felt the telltale burn of teeth cutting through her skin. Her body crushed against the stone chest of Edward as he greedily gorged himself on her blood. The sound of his steady pulls ringing in her ears right alongside her heartbeat as she stared at the family with bleary eyes. All of them standing and staring as though they were unsure of what was happening.

_ All but Jasper. _

The last thing she remembers seeing is him finally tearing himself free of Emmet’s hold and barrelling straight towards her and Edward. Her soft utterance of his name is lost in the silence. Bella had been begging him, begging the soldier to save her life. As though at that moment, every last molecule of her body knew that the only one who could save her was Jasper. The vampire who had fought in wars before any of the other family had even been alive -  _ barring Carlisle _ .

Either way, she resigned to die, to never spend time with her father or see her mother again. But once more fate had other ideas. Before the darkness could swallow her whole she felt the telltale burning that told her venom had been introduced into her blood. She was becoming what she always wanted - in a way she had never dreamed.

For three days she burned, her throat-ripping itself to shreds as screams loud enough to wake the dead were let loose of her throat. She heard movement around her, soft chatter as her body was moved from different positions. She could smell as everything around her changed, gone was the smell of wet grass that clung to every inch of Forks as it was replaced with the cleanness that only came from something as fresh as snow.

_ And then she’d opened her eyes _ .

Bella had been told what the transformation entailed, she had listened with rapt attention as Carlisle explained it all to her but she had never been prepared to be the one living it. She could see everything. The dust motes dancing in the air, the light dancing in a way her human eyes had been too frail to catch. All of it capturing her attention and having her eyes dancing in a million different directions before she’d even thought of looking.

Then a noise had caught her attention and she soon found her back against the wall, her body couched ready to attack as her new eyes landed on Jasper. Her human memories paling in comparison as she stared at the male before her, his scars shining and calling to her like a beacon and making a part of her uneasy. No matter how she told herself she could trust him, she felt as though he was the biggest threat in the room.

So Bella did the only thing her instincts told her to do -  _ she attacked _ .

It was probably stupid, thinking back on it now she knew it was the most stupid thing she’d ever done. But in that precise moment, as her mind recalled everything that had led her to that moment, she allowed her instincts to take control. She allowed the decadent call of something inside of her to lead her body as it coiled like a snake and sprang forward, her hands instinctively grabbing Jasper as she fought to sink her teeth into his flesh. A red haze coming over her eyes and swallowing the doubt inside of her mind, the doubt that told her this was Jasper.

Even now she wasn’t sure how the standstill came to an end, one moment she was aiming to sink her teeth in Jasper’s shoulder, the next she was once more in the corner she’d been standing in when she first saw him. Blood red eyes pinned on the vampire before her as she waited to see what his next move would be. It was at that moment that Bella truly learnt that she was not ready to be a vampire, everything she had heard hadn’t prepared her.

For ten minutes her and Jasper had remained in a stand-off as Bella fought her newborn senses to trust the male before her and it had only been the promise of curing the burn in her throat that had her standing from her crouch and handing over tentative trust to the scarred male. 

Her first hunt had been a learning curve, Jasper coaxing her through it with practised ease that told of his knowledge of newborns and she latched to every syllable as it left his mouth. The human part of her that remained beneath the venom wanting to trust that he would see her through this. That he would help her survive the new turmoil that she had found herself in.

Bella lost herself in the hunt and she didn’t even realise her teeth had sunken into the neck of two bobcats, their blood finally soothing the burn in her throat and pulling her back to the precipice of sanity. Every noise and smell soon invaded her senses and made her head spin yet she still heard as Jasper came behind her, her eyes landing on him and seeing guilt written firmly over his face.

She’d been nervous and scared to ask what had happened and yet she forced the words out, watching as the words carved a path through the awkwardness that bled between them. Her eyes never strayed from Jasper’s and she became aware of the fact she never blinked as she listened to every detail she had missed as she walked the burning wire into immortality.

Jasper explained how he managed to stop Edward from feeding yet the venom in her veins had been too little, meaning she was far closer to death than they had initially thought. And at that moment he decided to insert his own venom in her veins, the worries about his self-control flying out the window as he fought to save her life. Fought to bring her back from the brink of death that she was once more teetering over thanks to Edward’s decisions.

It was as the first scream ripped its way from her throat that everything had gone to hell. The whole family chose at that moment to label Jasper as the enemy, that it was all his fault that she was now becoming one of them. And yet it had been Edward’s teeth in her throat, it had been Jasper who had fought to stop the demon that laid claim to her lifeblood. All it did was show Bella just how close-minded the whole family was, not to mention how much Edward controlled them all.

She hadn’t seen it before, too lost in her naivety and the thrall of first love. But standing in a snowy clearing in the Colorado mountains, she saw it so glaringly obvious. More than that, Bella could recall every time Edward had used the thrall to control her own actions. Her independence became non-existent and he became the centre of her every thought and decision.

_ A demure little toy completely devoted to him _ .

The rage that flourished through her system had been something she had never before encountered. Her eyes once more concealed by a red haze as snarls and growls ripped past her lips as though she was a wild animal. Her blood-red eyes trained on Jasper, she wasn’t angry with him, no Bella just needed someone to get the frustration out on. And he was the closest target.

And over the next month, she had lost herself to her rage far more times and attacked Jasper as the outcome. He never said anything about her impulses, instead, he’d simply allow a smirk to filter onto the corner of his lips as he goaded her into attacking. It was only later as she’d calm down that he’d explain that her mood swings were normal, her actions were normal and he was more than willing to work them out with her.

She wasn’t so sure but she wasn’t about to argue.

Not when she relied on him so much. Bella had known going into this life that nothing was what it once was, but she almost felt like she’d lost everything that made her who she was. More than once she tore a pair of clothing, or broke a door handle as she learnt to get a grasp on her new strength. And in his ever-increasing patience, Jasper had simply smiled softly and helped her in any way he could.

She didn’t understand why, the two had barely interacted before that day. The only thing close to interaction they had was with Alice present in the hotel room in phoenix. And yet here he was, sacrificing everything to help her through her newborn year. Bella still didn’t truly understand even after he explained the role of a sire to her, all she saw it as was that she was now a shackle around his ankle. Something he had to look after because his venom was running through her veins, and he felt guilty over Edward’s actions.

_ Jasper thought otherwise and set out to prove her wrong _ .

And he did in a way which also included the biggest shock Bella had encountered in her new life. The day she learnt there were far more out there in the shadows than just vampires and werewolves. The otherworldly beings she’d read about in her books, the printed word she’d hailed as her gospel, were indeed a cold hard reality. Something that had been punctuated when Jasper had introduced her to Karina. To Bella’s  _ one-month-old newborn senses at the time _ , she had been just another human and before she could even register what she was doing, her senses had blacked with the need to consume the blood that pumped beneath the woman’s olive skin.

Though in a blink, far faster than even Bella’s vampire senses could comprehend, she had found herself on her back, the female poised above her like an angel of death as sea-green eyes stared deep into blood red. A smile dancing across red-stained lips as she held tight against Bella’s bucks and snarls. Laughter dancing across the air as she fought against the volatile newborn with an ease that had Bella’s head spinning.

All too soon she’d felt calm be pumped rapidly through her veins by Jasper and as the red haze had receded, she could see the true beauty of the woman before her. Flushed cheeks signalling her body was filled with blood but there was a sweet innocence to her that was enough to cover the age-old knowledge that swam deep within her eyes and called to a part of Bella that wanted nothing more than to unravel those secrets. To know every secret and modicum of knowledge those eyes hid.

Once she was in control of all of her faculties and no longer wished to sink her teeth into the inviting column of the woman’s neck, she was released and on her feet. Jasper initiating introductions in a way that was reminiscent of his human nature as his southern drawl rolled over the names of the two females. Karina and Isabella. Both so strikingly different and yet if one was to squint, could be tricked into believing they were in a way related.

It was then she was told of Karina’s nature, of just what species she belonged. And to say Bella was surprised was an understatement. She had once thought vampires were nothing more than a myth and yet stood before her was a living breathing representation of one.  _ Karina was a demi-god _ . A child of a Greek god -  _ in this case Poseidon  _ \- and a human, something so completely unheard of, stories had been told as a way to trick people into believing they were real with no true knowledge of such a truth.

As the knowledge soaked into Bella’s skin she found herself completely enamoured with the woman, wanting to know every small detail the goddess before her was willing to speak. Karina had indulged her with a soft smile of humour on her lips, no doubt amused at Bella’s newborn tendencies and the speed in which her mood had changed. Yet Bella hadn’t cared, the prospect of knowing everything called to what remained of her humanity. It called to the curious girl that had dug and dug till she revealed the truth about vampires and now she had another mythical being to obsess over.

The whole tale took a few months to completely tell, Bella’s newborn tendencies meaning that more than once she ended up distracted or losing herself under the thrall of one of her emotions -  _ mostly anger _ . Yet Karina and Jasper both remained steadfast and patient and helped her through it all without question or judgement. Karina often found laughing at the expanse it would take to restrain Bella from trashing the lodge they were staying in.

The one thing Bella had noted during it all was the way Karina and Jasper both tended to avoid the knowledge of how they knew each other. The tale of how they met having been glossed over and forgotten almost as soon as it came time and Bella found she preferred it that way. She wasn’t sure she was ready to handle the true expanse of Karina’s relationship with Jasper. 

_ And that thought alone confused her _ .

When Bella had reached her six month anniversary of being a vampire, she met Peter and Charlotte. The two of them slipped into Bella’s carefully constructed routine as though they’d been there from the beginning. Peter slowly became the annoying older brother that Bella never wanted and Charlotte became a good friend. And yet Bella tended to stray towards Karina and Jasper the most. Their calming presence helped to cool the maelstrom that burned within her.

A month after meeting Jasper’s coven mates was when her training started. It was then that Bella truly learnt the demon that resided within Jasper, the time she truly saw the vampire that survived a war zone and came out the other side. And watching him in action had turned her stomach, not out of revulsion. But out of desire. Seeing the raw power in his steps, the way his muscles coiled beneath his skin as he prepared to strike made her non-existent heart flutter and venom pool in her throat.

Confusion became the prominent emotion and whenever she found herself paired against Jasper in a mock environment, her mind would wander and her body would betray her. She knew he could feel the emotions that were pouring out of her, but he never brought them up. Which only added to her embarrassment. And it wasn’t that she wasn’t learning what he was teaching her, for when she was paired with Karina she did what was told, it was simply because it was Jasper.

_ And she wanted him _ .

The feeling encompassed her whole being and drove her to the brink of insanity. Finally, after two months, she found the will to ask Karina and Charlotte just what was happening. The two accompanied her for a run whilst Peter and Jasper went into town. And it was there that her two friends rather begrudgingly told her about mating. Bella had seen with ease that neither wanted to really bring it up, rather they’d have wanted Jasper to be the one to do it but they honoured their friendship and barrelled through the conversation.

She’d kicked, fought and outright denied what they were saying. Her whole mind swam with the words Edward had spoken about mates, his childish voice filtering in and tightening what she felt inside. Even as Charlotte explained her and Peter’s connection. She outright refused, _ in a rather colourful way _ . Karina on the other hand, in her ever stretched patience that came from dealing with Bella’s moods, had instead sat her down and told her the parts of her story she’d left out initially.

More importantly about how she was the mate of Demetri of the Volturi. The best tracker that existed and one of the major players in the ruling vampire’s arsenal. It had come as a shock, to listen as Karina explained how long she’d been without her mate and the pain that rested inside of her due to the distance. But Bella didn’t judge her for her reasons, they were all Karina’s and Bella could understand them.  _ At least a little _ .

And it had been then, listening as Karina -  _ a human for all intents and purposes _ \- explained how a human felt the mating bond. How even at its most basic, a human could recognise it for what it was. The sense of coming home, the sense of finding the one person who truly understood the worth of you. That a human could feel it strongly despite all the previous times Bella had been told they couldn’t. It was then she truly realised Edward was not her mate and that maybe someone else -  _ that someone being Jasper  _ \- was.

Bella wasn’t sure what she was supposed to do now. She was still hurting from Edward’s betrayal, the stinging of it burning through her veins along with the venom that was slowly killing off what made her human. She didn’t know if she was ready to truly hand her heart over to someone new. Someone who a few months ago she hadn’t truly spent that much time with. Someone who if Bella was honest with herself, went from a stranger to one of the only two people holding her together.

If Jasper had sensed anything in her less than enthusiastic mood when her and Karina returned - he didn’t comment. It was becoming a thing she slowly learnt as he allowed her the space to absorb everything that was happening around her and to flourish under the rays of freedom in a way that Edward had never allowed. He knew her emotions, he could taste them in a way no one else could and he was giving her the space to sort them out. 

_ Ever the gentleman _ .

Yet as the months progressed and her newborn year slowly came to an end, she found herself at constant war with herself. 

Jasper and Peter took over her training, both of them giving her the strength to never be controlled again. Karina, being the eldest of the bunch and far more skilled with gifts, _ took over the training of Bella’s shield _ , helping her to hone and control it in a way which allowed her to protect not only herself but those she cared about. And Charlotte helped with either task depending on who needed her.

Yet even with all that going on, Bella can remember with ease that her body had betrayed her far more times than she can count. One look at Jasper and she was often left burning with a desire to walk over and feel what his lips tasted like. To see if his hands were gentle as they ran down her back and across her naked flesh. She wanted him to claim her, to make her his in a way she had never been anyones before.

Karina, in the shield training, had been privy to some of Bella’s innermost thoughts as Bella revealed them in frustration. The demi-god simply laughed every time before gently returning Bella to the task at hand. And yet no amount of distraction was enough, her mind was forever pulled back to Jasper. And the knowledge that he was her mate.

Not even when Karina and Peter’s sources told them about the looming threat, the Cullens, Shape-shifters and Volturi coming their way could dispel the thoughts inside Bella's head. If anything the incoming threat only intensified it. The knowledge that at any moment she could lose Jasper before she ever truly had him settled like a lead weight in her gut and she found she wouldn’t forgive herself if that’s how it was to play out. To deny them both what they so clearly wanted.

As once that little revelation hit home, she was able to analyse the past year. The way Jasper would snipe at Karina if she used too much force, or he would growl if Peter got too handsy. The way his eyes would watch as she moved, burning through her skin almost as though he wanted to possess her. Yet on the other end of the scale, there were the soft moments. As he guided her through her newborn mood swings, of how he patiently repaired anything she broke as she came to terms with her new strength.

Of how he’d sit for hours on end listening as she’d tell stories about her parents as she slowly mourned their loss. All of it culminating in Jasper becoming everything to her. And she’d been too blind to see it. She hadn’t let herself see it. But it was there, shining like a beacon in the night.

It had seemed natural when she finally kissed Jasper. Karina, Peter and Charlotte had left to start gathering friends to fight, leaving the two of them alone. And Bella found she couldn’t wait anymore, she needed to feel Jasper in all the ways that mattered. And the moment his lips pressed against hers, as cliche as it sounded. It was like coming home. As though she’d been lost in a storm all this time, and he was her compass in the dark.

And that night when their bodies joined under the full moon, it was heaven on earth. She’d been reserved given her innocence but she shouldn’t have worried. Jasper was everything she could have expected as he played her body like a finely tuned fiddle. The desire in her veins brought her as close to heaven as a vampire could go. And she wanted more, she needed more of him. 

Her tongue tasting every inch of him, her mouth claiming every part of him. His teeth sinking into her neck to secure their mating felt like the last puzzle piece slipping into place. She was content. For the first time since she left Phoenix, she truly felt like she was where she should have been all along.

In the weeks following, the house started to get busy as friends and fellow vampires started to appear. All of them preparing for the battle that came their way. Her training increased and she worked on shielding everyone in a way only she could. It was tiring and some days she wished she could cry so she could release some of the tension that built inside of her body.

But through it all, Jasper was her guiding light. The silent strength at her back that helped to guide her when she wanted to fall. His arms and body were strong as she clung to it on the nights she felt like a failure. It did nothing more than solidify just how much she needed him. How much he meant to her. And if they made it through the upcoming battle. She had been determined, absolute in her decision to make it known just how much he meant to her.

The day of the battle had filled Bella with more nerves than she could ever remember having, her skin feeling clammy even though she no longer possessed the ability to sweat. Her gut churned at the prospect of what would happen if they lost. She hadn’t wanted to think on that part, yet it was there, playing across her eyes like a bad movie. Only growing more intense as she watched her friends, her mate, and all those that had joined them gear up for what was to come.

It was then she could see it,  _ they were soldiers _ . They were warriors who had fought many battles and saw this as simply another one they’d have to undergo. To them it was nothing, but to Bella it was everything. She was fighting for her life, her mate. And she was forcing Karina to go against hers. Yet, none of them cared. They were welcoming the carnage that was to come.

The atmosphere had been tense in the clearing, the sun shining and painting a picture of perfection even when death was slowly creeping towards them. The Cullens and shapeshifters appeared first, soon followed by the sea of black that was the Volturi.

Bella could remember watching Karina tense before hiding behind Peter, not wanting to reveal her presence so early and Bella’s eyes had slowly tracked each member of the guard. Cataloguing and remembering their faces as she looked for the one that was irrevocably linked to Bella’s best friend. She had to admit, Demetri was indeed handsome, his features showing his own greek heritage and also his power as he stood there like a silent angel of death.

_ A perfect pairing to Karina _ .

Yet all it did was remind Bella that it was mate against mate - Karina was firmly in their corner and Demetri had strong ties to the Volturi. Leaving them in a precarious position should they fail at fighting for what they wanted. And as Aro spoke, his almost childlike voice tinkling across the expanse of the field. Bella couldn’t help but wonder if the gods truly were on their side, or stood off to the sidelines laughing at them.

It had made her grasp Jasper’s hand even harder from where she stood slightly behind him. Her emotions churning away and yet she prayed he could feel the love she was all but forcing in his face. Her emotions speaking the words that caught in her throat. She loved him, and she didn’t want to lose him. Didn’t want to lose their promise of forever.

The one thing Bella would remember most was as Aro claimed Edward had enacted the ‘ _ first claim law _ ’. It had made her want to puke, thinking Edward had to resort to such an archaic claim to return his toy to him. Jasper softly growled beside her as though he read her mind and agreed with the statement. But it had been Karina and Peter that made it memorable. The two of them breaking out in fits of laughter and fighting to keep each other standing. Karina hidden against the taller vampires back as their laughter rang out in the clearing leaving more than a few vampires confused as to what was so funny.

Soon snarls ripped away the small reprieve of happiness and pulled Bella’s eyes back to what had been happening, Edward growing more frustrated as he no doubt realised he couldn’t read anyone’s mind. Bella’s shield protected all those from a childish males belief that every mind was his to read. Her own growl growing in intensity as she looked upon the male she once believed she’d loved.

Now she could see it had been nothing more than the thrall of a vampire. For he was not what she wanted, he was childish and too self-serving to handle her. Her mate was beside her, a man, a soldier and the only one who saw her for what she was worth. 

She had voiced as much, taking pleasure from the way Edward and Alice seemed to grow annoyed with each syllable that had dropped off her lips. Emmett and Rosalie looking rather perplexed and Carlisle and Esme almost begging them not to proceed with the war. But Bella was going too - they’d brought this to her door. They’d allowed death to claim her, and she was going to show them the same courtesy.

So was everyone around her. Peter, Charlotte, Jasper and Karina all stating their statements. The Volturi had looked pleasantly surprised as Karina stepped out from behind Peter’s back, the demi-god no doubt a surprise they hadn’t perceived and Bella had watched Demetri closely, able to dissect every minuscule change in his features. She only knew the look, because she’d see the same on Jasper’s face. It was a man watching his mate as though she was the brightest star in the world.

Once more, Bella found herself praying they didn’t have to go against each other.

The Volturi had simply watched it all unfold, no longer wanting to get involved after they had all had stated their statements. And then when Bella had offered to drop her shield and allow Aro to read everything from her memories, she knew that she had them on their side. And they would only intervene if it looked as though they’d lose. Aro had seen it all play out, and as his red eyes had flicked to her neck where her mating mark rested, the archaic law was no more. But there was still war, a war they still had a small potential of losing.

_ Which luckily they didn’t _ .

Bella had gotten some rather impressive scars that day. Both Edward and Alice fighting to end Bella’s life for running their family - their words - and she also had slash marks along her side from a russet wolf. Who as she snapped his neck, she realised was her once best friend Jacob Black. As she’d looked upon his body she mourned the child he had once been, yet felt nothing as she held a hand to her weeping side.

She was a vampire, her human life was dead and that meant the connections she once held. She’d come to acknowledge that. Forever was a long time to live in grief, especially when she would outlive all those she had once known. She’d uttered the word sorry, but it wasn’t for Jacob. It was for Billy - who now had to live with the same grief her father had. Yet it was the price to be paid for having children in the world of the supernatural.

Most of the battle had passed in a blur and it was only as she stood in the aftermath that she was able to take a moment. Her eyes landing on Jasper, seeing he too was sporting new bites and looked worse for wear but was alive. Peter and Charlotte a mirror image. Karina too was alive, her hand held against a healing gash to her side as she leant against Demetri, a grin on her face as though she’d just witnessed Christmas come early. Garrett and the others were also alive.

They’d survived.  _ They’d won _ .

After that day, Bella found herself slowly mourning the lives that were lost. Not because she and her friends killed them, but because they’d followed someone so idiotic. She understood that, she had done it too. And she felt bad that so many had lost their lives over a decision an overgrown child had let play out. An overgrown child who hadn’t been able to handle the fact his broken bird had grown wings and flown away.

Aro had been heartbroken that he had lost two powers he had wanted that day but had been indulged by Karina returning to them and Bella and Jasper offering their services if they were needed. Aro had wanted them permanently but both agreed they’d rather enjoy their time together instead of tying themselves to something long term. But if the Volturi needed them, they’d answer the call.

For the next fifty years, Bella and Jasper travelled and saw all the places that Bella had only dreamed about as a child. They, of course, kept their promise to the Volturi and helped them deal with any issues, sometimes teaming up with Peter and Charlotte to deal with the problem. A few times they also teamed with Demetri and Karina. Or if the two were in the area, they’d pop in for a few weeks.

When they reached a decade since the battle - she finally became Mrs Whitlock in a small private ceremony with just those who had been at the battle as the witnesses. They received a gift from Aro which had made Bella chuckle and Jasper to shake his head with a smirk. And yet she wouldn’t have changed anything of the day - not even the fact she got so drunk she ended up dirty dancing too much and caused Jasper to go all caveman.

_ That was the best part. _

Over the course of the fifty years together they’d also indulge in a college course here and there, both of them swearing on everything unholy that neither of them was willing to repeat high school. Bella had done it once and Jasper had done it too many times. It was time they did things for themselves, and that included indulging anything they felt like undertaking.

_ She was just thankful to be alive. And to be with Jasper. _

Soft footsteps ghost across the groundbreaking her from her musings and out of her peripheral vision she watches as the trees willingly part and reveals the presence of her best friend. Even after nearly fifty years, Karina was still one of the most beautiful women Bella had ever seen. Her olive skin absorbs the sunlight in a way that made her glow and if Bella was a religious woman, she would say that angels were crying at the sight of the raven-haired female. But Bella also knew better, Karina was no angel, no she was _ the devil’s favourite vixen _ and the man in question was in a very good mood the day he created the vision before Bella.

Even now she was forever grateful that the greek beauty was on her side and not against her. Whilst she screamed human and weak to those that didn’t know her, Bella knew better than most that she was highly dangerous and could kill at the drop of a hat and with ease pertaining to her true age. Bella had borne witness to Karina’s inner demon enough to know this as the fact it was.

“Petaloúda,” Karina murmurs softly as she lowers herself to sit beside Bella. The heat of her skin scorching along the outskirts of Bella’s chilled arm and it was another reminder that they were both so different. “You okay ?” 

Bella wanted to lie, to allow the simple words ‘ _ I’m fine _ ’ to slip off her tongue and taint the air between them and relish in the taste it would leave in the back of her throat. But she couldn’t. She knew Karina would see it for what it truly was, a lie, and she also knew her friend would no doubt be able to read the truth shining in Bella’s eyes. Watching it unfold like a Greek tragedy that was so far past reaching a happy ending.

“Just thinking.” She offers instead, enough of a truth that it didn’t register as deceit and nor did it taint the air with a palpable weight.

Karina cocks her brow, a smirk dancing along the curve of her lips that would give Peter a run for his money and yet she doesn’t say anything. A hum burning in the back of her throat as she turns her head and looks towards the stars, Bella’s own gaze following as she allows the simplicity of the stars to lull her into a false sense of comfort.

There was always something about Karina that set Bella at ease. Even though she could hear the blood pumping through her friend's veins, hear as her heartbeat sang out a calm song into the air. The woman was always so damn calm. Bella often wondered if it came with age, something Karina had learnt over the few millennia’s she’d been alive. Or if it was just her in general. Though Bella could never bring herself to ask, never wanting to break the spell that was Karina’s aura.

“What are you doing here?.” She cringes slightly as she hears the accusation in her tone, only soothed by the laughter of the other.

“Demetri had a hunt in the area. So we decided to delay it a little and drop in on some old friends.” 

A hum accompanies the end of the sentence as Bella returns her eyes to the sky, soft breaths escaping her lips as her mind churns over the last fifty years. Each emotion felt in those years rippling over her skin like a wave as the memories play behind her eyes. Vampire recall meaning she could remember every detail, every ounce of pain and love. And yet, Bella regretted nothing.

“Now, are you going to tell me what you’re thinking about?.” 

_ Persistence _ \- a weapon in Karina’s arsenal that she used well and it causes Bella to chuckle softly as she drags topaz eyes towards her friend. Her eyes landing upon Karina’s sea-green ones as a brow hitches high on her forehead. Her face showing she wasn’t going to stop till she got her answers so it was best Bella just spilt them all.

“I was just thinking over the last fifty years.” Bella sighs. “And everything that led to this moment.” 

Karina clicks her tongue softly as she nods, her attention firmly set on the young vampire as a hum gathers in the back of her throat. “Do you regret any of it?.” 

It takes Bella a moment to think things over, did she regret anything?. If she was honest, she regretted those that had lost their lives that day in the battle. But everything else, she couldn’t. How could she regret the choices that had been made when they had brought her to Jasper. Brought her to an eternal love and every day she was drowning in the feeling of truly belonging.

“Some of it,” she answers

Karina nods. “Take a piece of advice from someone who has lived way too fucking long. Life is going to be filled with regrets, but they don’t count for shit. Death is coming for us all, it dances in our shadows from the first breath we take. But it’s what we do in the meantime that truly counts. As long as we love without restraint and live with the intention of drowning in joy. Death becomes the next big adventure.” 

At that moment, Bella is reminded of just how old Karina was. If someone else had said those words, she’d have laughed in their faces. Yet this was Karina, someone who had lived far more centuries than Bella had and would ever dream of living. She had seen more, and her words weren’t blanketed in false comforts. They were blunt instruments of truth.

Bella simply nods at the words before allowing the silence to swallow her whole once more. The steady aura of her friend beside her as they relish in the silence. She isn’t sure how much time passes but soon Karina nudges her gently and the two rise before heading back towards the house, their paths clear as they both walk straight into the arms of their mates.

And at that moment Bella promises to do what Karina said. To live every moment, because death was dancing in her shadows. And it was time she stopped looking at her reflection and lived her life.

_ She had forever after all. _

**Author's Note:**

>  ** _A / N: Reviews are love and highly appreciated_** \- So i decided to give writing Bella with a vampire a go, given i am primarily a wolf pack girl. And well this idea has been stewing away inside my mind since i first thought of it. BUT I was too scared to post it as a story, so instead I wrote this. Which is basically an epilogue to the story in my head.
> 
> I have glossed over quite a lot, as well it's a one shot. But yeah this is the basis of my idea - an epilogue to the story in my head. NOW, if you would like to read this story then let me know. I am more than willing to write it out for all of you to see. And to explore the demi-god aspects i brought in as well as my own spin on the vampire side of twilight. So if you want it. Let me know.
> 
> _Anyway hope you enjoyed, leave comments, let me know if you like it and want the full story and what not. See you all later._


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